Hopium, Hormuz, and the Price of Pretend

David (00:00) There's a point where optimism stops being optimism and starts looking like a guy on the ladder and stalling a sex swing for his wife's boyfriend. That's basically where the market is right now. Oil's disrupted, gas is up. The Strait of Hormuz is still a problem, but every few days someone says, we're close, it's fine. Everything is almost solved. And the market takes another hit off the hopium pipe. Physics doesn't care about vibes. So this one is about Iran, oil, denial, magical thinking, and the strange American habit of pretending the bill isn't coming just because nobody has handed it to us yet. This is Shrink the Nation. Let's go. David (01:24) All right. Hey, we're back after a week off. Life kicked us in the proverbial nuts and we're taking our licks, but we're back and here we go. So I'm David. I've got, I don't know, over 20 years in the military. I'm a psychiatrist, all that bullshit, blah, blah, blah. I am drinking Robbie tonight. Jefferson's Ocean, Voyage 28. Rob (01:39) A lot something blah blah blah. David (01:51) Voyage 28. It's actually pretty good. It's pretty good. ⁓ So the way that learned the Jefferson's Ocean Barbans is that what they do is they distill it, then they barrel it, then they stick it on a boat and they go around to different places. Yeah, I don't know where they go. They go to hot places, they go to cold places. Rob (01:52) It's such a bullshit, vermin. It's a bullshit, vermin. it's fucking vermin. It's fine. in the world. David (02:13) Does that change anything about the bourbon? Not really. tastes fine. I know it is, but was a gift bottle and it's pretty good. Actually, the first sip did not taste like Satan's asshole. And so in my book, that's a good bourbon. Rob (02:16) It's a gimmick, buddy. It's a gimmick. Well, that's nice. That's nice. And you know, I really appreciate the fact that you have like the index experience of knowing what Satan's asshole tastes like so that you compare shit. That's handy. That's handy. David (02:37) It tastes like, it tastes like a very spicy apple. Rob (02:41) That's handy. That's handy. All David (02:43) We I was in my 20s, there was this supplement that was basically, it was a liquid. It was like a pre-workout supplement. I don't remember what the name of it was, but all my friends know. No, that's what we called it because you'd pour like a capful of this stuff and you'd take a shot. It was supposed to be like spiced apple flavor, but it burned like a motherfucker when you would drink it. And it was just like a little sip, but. Rob (02:54) Satan's asshole. David (03:09) It went down so hard, but afterward you'd have this crazy energy and you'd have these great workouts. And so we always, I always called it Satan's asshole. And all my friends know it is that. Rob (03:09) Right. Yeah. yeah, hey. All right, hey, to our tens of listeners, this is Rob. I've got stuff, I've done things. I am also somehow connected to this man who knows what Satan's asshole tastes like, which, I mean, it really does make me question all my life decisions that somehow I have attached my wagon to this train that And today we're gonna talk about some cool things. David hit it. The world kicked us in the nuts. It kicked me in the nuts two times actually. The first time, it was a glancing blow. Second time, right on target. Right on it was a great. David (03:56) It just grays the scrotum a little bit. Rob (03:58) It was a graze the first time. The second time, it got me. It was deep. It hurt where women's opries are. I mean, that's where the pain was. It really reminded me of embryology and the biology of our nervous system. So anyway, let's talk about some things, buddy. David (04:09) ⁓ Well, all right, before we jump into today's episode, I do need to let everyone know that while we were off last week, I secured us a brand new sponsor. So frankly, I'm shocked that they reached out, but Robbie insisted I read the copy exactly as written, legally binding apparently, so here we go. Today's episode of Shrink the Nation is brought to you by Robbie's OnlyFans. Are you tired of influencers with six packs and self-respect? Rob (04:25) WHAT?! All right. David (04:41) Then come on down to Robbie's Only Fans, where the lighting is dim, the bourbon is room temperature, and the emotional boundaries are aggressively unclear. month's exclusive content includes Sensual Civics with Robbie, Geopolitics in Grey Sweatpants, and a six-part educational series called Filibust Her. Premium subscribers also gain access to Robbie's late night live streams where he explains attachment theory while chopping wood shirtless and maintaining prolonged eye contact with the camera for reasons no one fully understands. Robbie's OnlyFans, where mustache rides aren't extra, they're expected. right, well, I read it, so hopefully we get our money, Robbie. Rob (05:04) Ohhhh huh. huh. Yeah. Holy shit. All right. I was not prepared for that. Now, to our tens of listeners, I do have an OnlyFans. I do make a crazy intense eye contact. It gets uncomfortable. It feels weird. It's just me. It's who I David (05:28) I mean you told me I should read it, so whatever. you'll feel it where your ovaries should be. Rob (05:45) Yeah, you'll feel it where your ovaries should be. David, let's help me get past this. Let's get past this because I don't even want to, you know, I'm feeling uncomfortable for our poor tens of listeners right now. So let's get past this. David (05:59) All right. So we do have a topic to talk about. Rob (06:02) Yeah, lots. David (06:04) Well, let's get into it. So us, Robbie, you start off. Rob (06:06) All right. So I'll tell you, Dave, so, you know, we like to delve into the psychology of, you know, existence of politics and of the world. And I'll tell you the thing that has been fascinating me, and I wanna pull you in on this one, it's the and I'm using air quotes. Nobody can really see them. I'm doing air quotes right now in the air the market David (06:32) Man, you're a master at podcasting. Just gotta explain your expressions. Rob (06:35) Yeah, yeah, I really am. I really am. I know our medium and here I am really leveraging it to the maximum. So the market. here's the reality, folks. We entered into a war some time ago. You know, we attacked another country. David (06:50) So it. thought it was like a military conflict or what do you call it? A military He was very specific to only state the word war like 27 times, but to note that he wasn't allowed to call it a Rob (06:56) Today. know... Well, and you know, the weird thing about him is that he'll actually say like the shit out loud. He'll say, I'm not allowed to call it a war. a war. I mean, it's just, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's, it's, like raising a three year old. They always say the shit they're not supposed to say. And everyone laughs because the stakes. are so low with a three year old. And here we a three year old and the stakes are high. This is big. This is, the stakes are really high. So anyway, whatever, David (07:35) They're very high. For, well this reminds me, my daughter, for whatever reason, when she was young, she could talk at a ridiculously early age. And when she started, holy shit, she never stopped taking after me, I guess. But she would, for years, she would tell everyone she was a year older than she really was. And it was just the fucking worst. When you're trying, when you're going to try to get your three-year-old into the zoo for free, right? And they're like, and how old is she? And you're like, she's three. She's like, I'm four. She's just fucking yelling, I'm four. We're like, she's not four. She's three, we swear. We're not trying to screw you out of 20 bucks. Yeah, I mean, but she would do that constantly. I'm four. Rob (08:11) Four. Here's the birth certificate, right? Here's the birth certificate. Yeah, I raised a liar. And good on you and your wife for raising a pathological liar. That's great. She could, she's got one of the necessary skill sets. All right. David (08:30) Yeah, we hope she'll be president one day. I think she's about as educated too. All right. Rob (08:40) What? and mature, the maturity levels probably similar. David (08:43) She's She's ready. Rob (08:45) So here's the fascinating thing for me. we have talked about the Iran war many, many times. We have talked about my perception, at least, that the second and third order effects were not fully considered. We have talked about hopium, which for our tens of listeners, hopium is... the opium of hope. So, opium. And this administration, it feels, ended up making some decisions based on smoking the pipe of opium in which they believed that if they just... And, you know, I'm not sure if opium... I believe opium is smoked. I don't think it's snorted. I think it's... David (09:26) You don't think they, they have the long fingernail, the one fingernail that they use and then they, yeah, yeah. You gotta snort that. Nothing is as good as snorting hopium. Rob (09:31) Maybe it's snorted. It's snorted. Hopium, Hopium snorted. You're right. You're right. Yeah. So I believe they, they snorted the Hopium of a regime change, of some popular uprising that would happen de novo, irrespective of reality, whatever. David (09:51) Well, he told him to do it. Rob (09:53) Yeah, and he told him to do it, and why wouldn't they do it if he told them to? David (09:56) I mean, he dropped it on like truth social or something, right? So, I mean, every, we all know that every Iranian in Iran reads truth social. They're all on, they're all, they're all truthers. Rob (10:00) It was a... Well, henceforth, I think we should reference all truth social drops as bleats, because it's kind of like a goat just bleh, bleeding, bleeding out bleh. So yeah, he bleated it out. so there we are. But. David (10:17) BLEH BAAA Rob (10:26) You know and I'm not gonna revisit all that I Just kind of revisited all that but I'm not gonna It yeah, just just a little just the tip just to see how it feels Just for a let's let's jump past that What have I have found? fascinating is that David (10:39) Yeah. Rob (10:45) is physics in this world. In the world, there are things that we cannot deny. One of the things that the world actually runs on is energy. what energy requires at this point in our, you know, human development is oil. We can't deny this, but since the onset of this war, a massive percentage of the world's oil supply has been cut off, a massive percentage. And that has downstream consequences. That has consequences to the cost of fuel. It has downstream consequences to the cost of everything, food, you name it. It costs more because but David (11:28) I'm guessing our tens of listeners are aware that things are costing more at this point. Rob (11:33) I have a feeling that anyone who got gassed today probably said, what the fuck? What in the fuck? What in the actual fuck? But what I have been amazed by the... non-physics based response of the market. The market responds to Donald J. Trump saying, we're close to a solution people. sign a treaty probably this week. I don't know, tune in later. Tune in later. We're gonna do it. And he's been doing that now for six weeks. And every time he does it, the market actually responds to this and it goes up. And the reality is, and this is the physics of it, is that the IAE, which is the International IAEA, International Energy Agency, whatever, there is a world organization that monitors these kinds of things. And, you know, they're saying we're like $10 billion or 10 billion barrels in the hole right now. that countries are actually about 26 billion barrels that the reserves have been spent, 26 billion barrels. And what fascinates me is that the physics of this, that the reality of this is that we are in a tale that even if this ends tomorrow, even 100 % transit, which we will probably never resume again based on, you know, the expert diplomacy that our current administration is engaged in. Even if we could resume a hundred percent, we're talking six to eight months before full resolution of supply, that doesn't include full resolution of what has been spent because really what happens is if supply resumes, that supply has to go back into the reserve. And I'm amazed that the market has been as resilient as it has been. I'm just waiting, Because markets historically, work on hope and then they crash. They crash hard. See 1930 for some reference on this, but they crash. They ignore it, ignore it, ignore it until they can't ignore it and then the market crashes. And I am waiting for that crash. And I think, I think it's going to happen there's no getting around it. David (14:13) that's really depressing, Rob (14:14) Yeah, it's suppressing. It makes me anxious. David (14:17) This reminds me of when patient comes to you and tells you that his wife wants to have an open marriage and that he's fine with it. But... He's just, he's like, I'm good, I'm gonna stay in this thing. As she's like bringing other men And every time she does, she's like, but it's fine. good, we're married, we're happy. I'm just, the marriage is open, we're just bringing other dudes home. And he's just hoping, he's got that hope. Rob (14:36) Yeah, yeah. David (14:50) that yeah, he's got the hopium going that he thinks just with this pinky long fingernail, long pinky nail. And you're watching a train wreck in slow motion with this one, because you know, you know Rob (14:50) Hopium. He's smoking the hopium. Ordinate. David (15:07) isn't an open marriage. This fucking right in front of you, in your house, in your bedroom with another man you're just watching your patient spiral down and you know one of these days, Rob (15:09) This is in front of you. You're being marginalized in real time. David (15:25) Yeah. I, that's what it feels like. It feels like Trump keeps telling us that it's not a war. The war is over all as well. just having an open relationship with, with Iran. It's cool. All is well. Just keep, just keep watching it and that, yeah, it's going to come crashing out Rob (15:42) the weird thing is that the markets have been pretty resilient to this. And what has fascinated me is that they respond to these sort of promises of, and what has also fascinated me is that the talking points and the talking heads that are in the major news sources is that, yeah. this is gonna end and we're gonna resume, transit. But it defies physics. Physics says that when you have oil that is sitting in the midst of the Persian Gulf and it has to go someplace else, that even if 100 % of transit resumed, there is a eight week delay before that oil can get where it needs to be. And right now we're absorbing it. because countries are releasing stored oil. But there's gonna be a point we can't do that. And even if it... resumes 100 % tomorrow, all that stored oil has to be replaced. What I'm amazed by the psychology of this. The psychology of ignoring reality. It makes no sense to me. I mean, I'm a military planner at heart. I'll admit this. Military planners, we think of the worst. scenarios, we think of the worst things that could happen, we've planned for those. And I am a military planner at is how I live my life. And it's not fun. admit. my tens of listeners, I'm I'm not a happy man. I'm not a happy man. David (17:16) Obviously not. All right, oh, hold gotta read the next copy. All right, so today's show is also sponsored by Robbie's OnlyFans Platinum Patriot Tier. For just $17.76 a month, subscribers receive uncensored behind the scenes footage, exclusive thirst traps labeled For Democracy, and access to Robbie's members-only chat room known simply as the Situation Room. And folks, Rob (17:23) All right. David (17:46) I'm reading directly from the copy here. Apparently his top performing video is titled, Bad Boy of Behavioral Health Explains Gaslighting While Oiling a Cast Iron Skillet. Five stars. Disturbingly high engagement from middle-aged nurses and divorced dads. Robbie's Only fans. Where mustache rides aren't extra, they're expected. Okay, we'll get our money. Copy number two I was worried that my Rob (18:10) Well... David (18:11) analogy wouldn't make a lot of sense, but then when you started talking about spent oil and stored oil and it was just going to blow, yeah, my, my analogy worked a hell of a lot better than I thought. Rob (18:16) Yeah. Yeah. Well, in two or tens of listeners, used perceive David as like one of my best friends. He's really fucked me on this one. And I'm really questioning David, we might not be friends anymore. I don't know. We'll have to, we'll have to see how this plays out. It's kind of like a ran. We'll see how it plays any rate. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, David (18:42) We'll see if the markets respond to your threat of not having a friendship anymore. Rob (18:48) this is where I need you to weigh why does the market do this? Because reality based. And it's presented on the news as if it's reality based. And here's something for our listeners. mean, if you guys want to actually like, I don't know. Not. buy into the bullshit. The IAE on the 28th of this month will tell us just how far in the hole we are. So it's the International Energy Agency. They will tell us, they will say, this is how far in the hole we are. And that has real implications to everything because energy is everything to us. Energy is how we get food across the nation. Energy is how we get our, you know, our Timo shit from point X to point Z. David (19:40) Fucking who uses Timo? Rob (19:44) Man, I'm going to guarantee you some of our tens of listeners buy some Timo shit. It is everything to us. So what I'm just stunned by, mean just utterly stunned by is that the market doesn't really give a fuck. What they're really trying to do is maintain their prices. David (19:47) I getcha. Rob (20:05) for their purposes, but they don't give a shit about us, about the real world. It magic thinking. And it kind of pisses me off. David (20:16) Well, guess, yeah, you should be pissed off because it's gonna come crashing and when it comes crashing down, it's gonna burn everybody. that's the, people who are not invested or people who just have their little, their 401k because they work at a place that has one and their money is gonna be gone and they're gonna. more about their future and really the people who are going to make out like bandits on this are the people who are able to sell off all their shit right before this comes crashing down. And I would, I would be fucking dumbstruck if the people who are aware that it's going to come crashing down aren't intimately tied in with Donald Trump. I mean, if anything, if there is ever a better commercial for truth social, It is watching the markets because every time the man bleats on truth social, the market does something in response. I don't think anybody should be on truth social, but if you're going to be, I mean, do it just to know when to buy and when to sell, because he's telling you straight up when he's going to make a move. Rob (21:15) yeah, I think we'll end up moving in that direction know, you know, the motto of the United States is the pluribus union pluribus yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm a hillbilly. If I say words wrong, just have to. David (21:25) Unum? E pluribus unum? Rob (21:34) roll with it. David (21:35) I know, and you're turning pink from the watching a sunburn that you don't have develop as you're sitting there with the bourbon, I'm impressed. Rob (21:43) you know, I started this I decided, you know, I didn't talk about what I was drinking. What has been externally decided as one of the best sipping bourbons Makers Mark Task Strength. And I bought a a week and a half ago. I was away. and I was able to get to a Class our listeners. Class 6 is a liquor store for military people. so I bought this here's what happened to said bottle. Put it in my bag. It broke. there was enough for this evening left. So two things I got out of it. one was, a lot of laundry that smells like bourbon just David (22:25) Well that's a gift that keeps on giving, Robbie. Honestly. Rob (22:27) Well, or needs and I'll tell you, Makers Mark has never impressed me. Matter of fact, Makers Mark has always pissed me off because motto is, we taste expensive because we are. And And they're not, you know, they dip their bottles in wax so it makes it feel like they're doing something special. It's a weeded bourbon. It's line. There's nothing special about it. Now, what I will say, and I have had, I don't know, the equivalent of probably three drinks this evening. This cast strength not bad. It's not bad. It is a weeded bourbon, but because it is a really high alcohol content, it kind of fools you into thinking it has a little more complexity than it does. When in fact, it's high alcohol content. It's not bad. Yeah. everyone. David (23:19) It's like our like our show. Rob (23:23) that we have more complexity than we do. David (23:26) a high alcohol watching get plastered here. market the way it I explain Well, I guess just like who Rob (23:30) No, I'm not plastered. wrong. David (23:42) is told they want an open marriage and then goes with it thinking they're going to salvage their marriage through fucking other guys. think it's just more of a, know, they want it to be true. And so it's going to go in on this, in this case, it's just somebody's making lot of money. And because they're not the ones that are going to get screwed over. It's kind of like, well, who cares? Yeah, it's rough situation. Rob (24:01) Well, here's who cares. this is, you know, I made a mistake some weeks made this call that we were gonna be boots on the ground at a certain point. I based that on military thinking and We're not, to our tens of listeners, we're not functioning on military we're definitely not. Military carries some weight. It's actually pretty thoughtful, folks. you actually can trust your military. David (24:24) No. Rob (24:33) The challenge to that is that your military is not really in charge. It's your civilian leadership. And I'll tell you, you can't trust. You can't trust your civilian leadership. And I realize that makes me like a fascist or something. also have a lot of faith in the military and in our values and the fact that, wouldn't just naturally take over the country. really do need about and, look at. So the market is bullshit. And we've established this. The market is an emotionally driven thing. What you have to look at is two things. One is the EAI. ⁓ The EAI! David (25:23) don't think you've said the acronym right once. This is great. IEA, International Energy Agency. You've said it fucking wrong just now. Rob (25:26) I haven't. haven't. haven't. Yeah, it's the AI. It's the energy. Fuck, whatever it is. I have. I have. It's the AI. And this, this... No, no, it is definitely the EIA. EIA. Definitely. Definitely. 100%. 100%. It's the EIA. David (25:39) No it's not! Okay, Rob (25:52) Promise. Promise. So these are the folks that this is an international agency that actually looks at this kind of thing. So what we need to pay attention to is every week they actually give this general consensus about national or national shit, international. energy supplies. We got to pay attention to that. And that comes out on the 28th. And the expectation is, is that we're going to be like 10 million barrels in the hole with no plan to repair that, to catch up. David (26:30) I think you said 10 billion earlier. Is it 10 million or 10 billion? Million, okay, so way less, yeah, yeah. Or maybe I'm wrong. I could be totally fucking wrong, but. Rob (26:35) million million sorry sorry sorry i'm i'm like i'm super like super excited about this topic so i i yeah billion million who gives a shit i don't know maybe one it's 1.776 billion slush fund the the other is the David (26:50) It's all the same, right? Rob (26:57) PPI and it's the something price index. And you know, I should know this shit, but I just know it's important. David (27:06) It's the something price index. Awesome. ⁓ man, this is top quality shit. We're giving it. Yeah. Rob (27:08) Yeah, it is. It is. It is. Well, I mean, this is complex. David (27:18) If our tens of listeners are even around after missing a week, well, they will not, go without this week. Rob (27:23) this is no, this is, this is important shit, but I mean, let's face it, David, this isn't our area of expertise. These, these are not the things that we, David (27:34) are not economists at all. We are not historians. We are not lawyers. are psychiatrists at best. And barely Our GABA receptors are widely open at the moment. We have just made them in ethanol and they're working. Rob (27:41) And barely that. Barely. No, so... Right. Yeah, yeah. No, and what what sent me down this path? I mean the reason I know the EAI and the PPI is my fascination with the psychology of this is like all right, they're responding a certain way there was no psychology here if it was just a data-driven system, what would they be thinking about? And what they would be thinking about is the AI, which talks about fuel, how much energy, how much oil is in the system. And then this PPI, which the PPI talks about how much stuff costs. And that's coming up here in middle June. These are the things we can't deny. This isn't psychology. This is legitimate data. And there has to be a point when the legitimate data impacts the psychology. So there has to be a point when what the data says overrides Donald Trump saying, yeah, we're close to a solution. whatever. Which is nuts at this point. It's like the boy who cried wolf. mean, every week we're close. We're close. And then at the end of the week, it's I'm going to bomb the shit out of them. I may well destroy culture. then close. David (29:20) Trump impression is just uncanny. Rob (29:22) it's let's no, let's step back from this and just appreciate impression. And, to our tens of listeners, I have hair very similar to Donald Trump. David (29:23) It's very good. It's very good. Yeah, You do, you do. It's beautiful. Hey, before we continue, another word from our sponsor, which again, did not write. This is apparently what Robbie submitted for tax purposes. Rob (29:33) or lack thereof. Yeah. god damn it. I did it. I did it. David (29:46) At Robbie's OnlyFans, every subscription comes with one complimentary emotional support flannel, access to the Bourbon and Boundaries Masterclass, and weekly ASMR recordings of Robbie whispering things like, your hypervigilance is valid, but that squat rack still fears you. And if you sign up for the Diamond Executive Chairman tier, Robbie himself will send you a personalized video reminding you to hydrate, Rob (30:09) This is terrible. David (30:12) challenge authority and respectfully disobey tyranny. Robbie's OnlyFans, where mustache rides aren't extra, they're expected. Rob (30:16) Yeah. Yeah. expected. David (30:22) I think I think when the data drops, it's this sort of the I just read the copy. I'm just reading the fucking. Listen, know I'm not a professional broadcaster per se, but if we're going to get to get copy we're going to get advertisements, Robbie, and they ask me to read On air. Rob (30:21) ⁓ I love how you present that and then just move on. Like I can. Yeah. my head. All right. David (30:43) I'm going to do it professionally. I'm going to do it professionally because that's how we're going to make it big. Rob (30:45) Yeah. Right. You're a Here's something I will say. If our Tencel Blitzers ask, I will have an OnlyFans tomorrow. I'll do every one of these things. David (31:02) Anyway, if the. Rob (31:02) I don't have a mustache. I don't have a mustache, folks. I am totally mustache-less. I'll grow a mustache. David (31:07) I don't know why the mustache rides keep showing up then. Rob (31:10) I will mustache it up for our tens of listeners because that's the kind of guy I am. I commit people. David (31:13) So, so the. Robbie is the kind of guy who would grow mustache for a mustache ride. to please the tens of So, the data drops, the actual data drops and the reality sets in, that's kind of like the moment that your wife asks you to install a sex swing your bedroom. Rob (31:21) I'll do it. I'll do it. David (31:37) for one of her lovers. Rob (31:38) or her boyfriend. David (31:40) When you're up on the ladder looking for a good... something you could just, yeah, could just drill that thing into and you're figuring out is that enough, will that support enough weight for, Raul and my wife swing on this safely? I think that's the point. Rob (31:44) Maybe. Maybe. I gotta find the two by four. I gotta find the two by four. Hey. Where's the stud finder? And and here's the funny thing about that is that it would stimulate the average guy's desire to do a good job do the And it would only be after that he like he does it does it You know, he installs it. It's solid. He feels good about it He's proud of it. And then he realizes my wife's David (32:09) Yeah. Yeah. Rob (32:23) Gonna get fucked by Raul, oof. David (32:25) She's gonna get it hard by Raoul. Yeah. Rob (32:27) She's going to get railed by work I just did. Yes, David, I think that is a reasonable analogy. I honestly, yeah, really pushed to come up with why it's reasonable, I don't know. I just think it's funny. So I'm going to go with this. David (32:32) Mm-hmm. Thank you. we see those numbers and we realize somebody is balls swinging into our life, it might be time to rethink whether we should trust the cyclical promises that keep coming out of Rob (32:52) and our wife. David (33:02) Donald Trump's mouth. Rob (33:04) here's the weird thing that I keep coming back to. No, no. David (33:06) ⁓ here's the weird thing. Yeah, okay. Rob (33:10) is not the psychology so much of the market. It's the psychology of us is that we're uninterested in this. I think everyone feels it. mean, every time I hear of the talking heads say, yeah, once this is over, we're going to restore movement of oil. Everything will be back to normal. I hear that, but I don't think anyone actually believes it because it's not true. is two month gap. Like if we restored supply tomorrow, which we won't. David (33:42) There's gonna be a Raoul sized gap that we're just not gonna be able to fill. Rob (33:46) But that's it. I mean like, Raoul's got a big freaking cock and we can't account for Raoul's dick. Well, I mean, we can't, we can't account for Raoul's. David (33:53) saying the things are... Kingdoms. Implying it wasn't enough, was it Robbie? Rob (34:01) I mean like, I mean, know, he's got an impressive, he's got an impressive penis. we can't, Jesus, Jesus, David, take Raul out of this. What I'm saying is, is that even if we restore 100 % of movement, David (34:04) for fucking Raul. Rob (34:22) through the Strait of Hormuz tomorrow, there is a gap of multiple months before we can just re-achieve previous levels. What it doesn't account for and can account for is the reduction in the supply in the reserves that have currently been used. in order to not alter the market. thing that pisses me off. This is what pisses me off, honestly, is that we started a war. based on Hopium, based on this idea that Iran would magically flip into a democratic wonderland and we could all walk away. And when I say we, I mean one person. There's only one person that did this. What we have been left with is the reality of the world, which is they're not going to give in. They're not going to do this. They're not going to We have proven to them that they can control the straight or moose. It was a theoretical. this is the thing that's fucking stunning to me. This was a theoretical thing for the last 50 years. And we helped them prove they could control the golf. They now have control of the golf. We have made them a world fucking power. Now, is it a world power that has legs? Who knows, because the other Persian golf states can make. Pipelines etc. They can go through the Red Sea they can do other things, but it takes years You can't build that shit in months We're talking the next decade before they could alter the flow of the Stray Duhor Moose But we did this we did this thing in which now they know they have control of the Stray Duhor Moose We made them a world fucking power. We made Iran that had very little power. We made them world power. And right now, the best we can do in this, and you can see this, you can see this in the news right now. Trump has lost attention on this. He doesn't care anymore. He just wants to walk away. And that's what's going to happen, folks. There's not going to be a resolution. there's not going to be another attack by the way. and this is me stepping out on a limb and fuck I've been wrong before and I'll probably wrong again, but we're not going to attack again. He's going to step away. He's going to ignore this. He's going to claim victory. David (36:43) Yeah? Rob (37:02) based on this Pyrrhic military like we won. Look at us. We're tough and fuck folks. I promise you we are the most powerful military. The United States is the most powerful military that has ever existed in the history of the world. I won't back off that He's gonna walk away from that, claim a military victory, and just let this be unsettled. And you know what it's gonna cost us? It's gonna cost us somewhere right around % is what we can all anticipate on the cost of everything, because that's the tax that we just incurred. because getting shit through the straight-o-hormuz is gonna be a pain in the ass now. cost in terms insurance. gonna get their cut because we're not gonna stop them. Donald Trump's he's gonna pretend like it doesn't exist, but they're gonna get their cut. and we're going to pay about an 8 the long term. In the short term, because we are so far in the hole for oil right now, it's gonna cost a lot more. So here's Rob going up on a limb. I'm gonna tell you folks, we're looking $7 a gallon gasoline for a bit We're looking at inflation, particularly in response to food, probably in the five to seven percent range. This is what we're facing and nobody's actually saying it out loud yet and it's fucking killing me. David (38:39) I mean, the Rob (38:40) And David, you need to write this down so that later you can tell me I was wrong or I was right. David (38:45) Well, we'll remember this, I think the that they could get from everything that's happened is maybe something that's strict as the JCPOA was. The Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action. I mean, really, at this point, yeah, the best they could get to is something that is weaker than the JCPOA was. Rob (38:57) ⁓ Jesus. The best I the best I could get to. David (39:07) Does it surprise that Donald Trump's will likely lead to a worse possible outcome than had he done nothing? Rob (39:07) Well, if- Well, and that's the interesting, psychological thing from his standpoint, is that he can't tolerate being a loser, and he's a loser here. I mean, he's a massive, I mean, there's no getting around this. He's a massive fucking loser on this. He's a loser in every regard on this. The best he can get to is the JCPOA. David (39:32) Yeah! Rob (39:42) That's the best, which for you. David (39:43) I don't even think, I mean, I think the best you can get to at this point is something slightly worse than the JCPOA. Rob (39:49) absolutely. If he can get back to the JCPOA. David (39:50) The Iran nuclear deal that he canceled because he thought it was a terrible deal. Mainly because he didn't negotiate it. Rob (39:58) and Well, exactly. And if he could get back to that, it'd be a win. It'd be a win. That was not a bad deal. We actually had them kind of hedged in. Yeah. So if he can get back to that, that would be a super win. Right now, it comes down to this. Iran needs money desperately. I mean, they really are in bad position. There's no getting, you know, I don't want to overplay. David (40:10) No, was a great deal. Yeah. Rob (40:26) their hand. I mean, the reality is, their their economy is in in dire straits. What you can't account for is the fact that they can absorb the pain or willing to. David (40:36) Speaking of, of economies and dire straits, today's final sponsor break comes from Robbie's Only Fans After Dark. This week's featured content, Trauma Bonding by Candlelight, Advanced Daddy Issues, a Workshop, and a 45-minute premium video called Physical Liberalism. wish I was making this up, but apparently the VIP tier includes a signed 8x10 glossy photo of Robbie staring thoughtfully into the middle distance while holding a smoker thermometer and wearing jeans tight enough to violate several OSHA standards. Robbie's OnlyFans, where mustache rides aren't extra, they're expected. Rob (41:15) Just like Kennedy. They're expected. They're expected folks. ⁓ David (41:19) Sorry, last copy, that was it. That was it. Rob (41:23) Yeah, you know. Dave is a goddamn He's not kind. He's not kind. He's not a good human. And I hate to reveal that to our tens of listeners, that you're person. God, that sucks. David (41:40) I'm just reading the copy that you sent. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm reading the copy that was sent over Rob (41:43) I know, I know, I know. All right. our tens of listeners, I like to walk around in a pair of jeans with no shirt and a really intense tan, just like our secretary of Health and Human Services. Because I really dig Kennedy I really dig Guy You know, he starts every day with a tanning session, you know, he does there's a reason why he's trying to lessen the regulations on tanning David (42:06) Yeah, doesn't? I, yeah, I don't see, I mean, come on. Should not allow to get into tanning beds? I mean, what's the harm? who gives a shit That's just a, what does that even mean? Melanoma, that's nothing. Let's get our 14 year olds into the tanning beds. Rob (42:25) Who doesn't look better with a Fuck that. Well, and additionally, And let's get him a vape. Let's get him a vape. And in the tanning bed because apparently nicotine is the next super drug. David (42:46) no SSRIs. Those are the Benzos, stimulants, opiates, whatever. But antipsychotics all around, but SSRIs? Dangerous, dangerous. Yeah, we don't want those antidepressants out there. Rob (42:50) I think. That's rough. It's rough. I fear for our tens of listeners we're doing a little inside baseball, hey, visit my OnlyFans site. Bust S rides are not optional. So there we go. Yeah. David (43:14) aren't extra. They're expected. Now that was free. I didn't get paid for that one, but Rob (43:19) Right. And if you go to my OnlyFans site, which features me in a pair of jeans, no shirt, and very tan. I intensely stare constantly. David (43:27) intense stare. Rob (43:30) But that might be me having a fucking stroke and or a seizure David (43:34) It's like you're looking into my soul and my non-existent ovaries. I feel it there. I feel it there. Rob (43:36) Yeah, yeah. In that- David (43:40) It's to the nuts, in a good way. Rob (43:42) that's me, mean, that's really me. David really has captioned me. I am like a kick to the nuts. David (43:49) I don't know why you keep blaming me for the copy that I've been paid to read. It's just paid commercials. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we're selling out and I know it's embarrassing. Rob (43:52) I know. I know. I do totally feel like I should have on the coffee. Anyway, whatever, whatever. Hey folks, gas is really goddamn expensive. David keeps wanting to be funny and I don't want to be. I want you all to be scared as shit. want you to actually be thinking about the fact that you're going to be paying David (44:03) I didn't make this up. This came over. Rob (44:21) seven dollars a gallon for gas. I want you to be mad about it in fact because there's no good goddamn reason for it. What we engaged in was stupid. It was dumb. It didn't result in anything positive. It didn't improve your safety in the world. It just increased the cost to you. And that's what pisses me off. David (44:42) You're going full, you're going full Gestalt on this, aren't you? Rob (44:46) mad. I'm mad about this because Yeah, yeah, no, I'll scream into a pillow later because that's how I always go to sleep it's soothing to me Know what what what really irritates me? I mean this this makes me angry this this truly makes me angry is that David (44:48) You're gonna be screaming into a pillow later. Ha Rob (45:05) We're not safer. the risk of our ram having a nuclear weapon, which was just shy of zero to begin with. everything we were before, we are in no better place now. All we did was bomb a bunch of people, kill about 100 children. David (45:24) 160 it was like 160 it was fucking terrible terrible yeah terrible Rob (45:26) Yeah, terrible. killed some people, babies. We killed some babies thousands of people. And we are no safer from a nuclear standpoint. Iran's nuclear capabilities no less. Iran has, I recognize that they have complete control of the goddamn Strait of Hormuz. David (45:33) of people, yeah. just lives ruined. Yes. Rob (45:51) because they have, a asymmetric capability that we can't account for. can send out $200 drones all fucking day. We can't account for them. then. David (46:02) They're a little more expensive than that. Donald Trump even admitted during a couple of interviews that at this point, there's a stalemate to getting to the nuclear material because it's all sitting under just a couple of different mountains and that we have constant observation of. If they were to even try to dig it out, we could just bomb the shit out of them again like we did. last year. so I mean, I agree. think at this point, we're in the middle of this maybe not so much because of safety or whatever, whatever excuses they were coming up with, after the fact, but I think maybe because there's an ego involved and we're all sort of slaves to Rob (46:41) is there an there an ego involved? Who's ego? What are we talking about here? Ego. Ego involved. What? David (46:49) Yeah. unfortunately where we're at with this. So, ⁓ yeah. Rob (46:52) Hey, let's take a few moments here to talk about ego. So, David (46:57) When you say ego, do you mean that guy from Ghostbusters? Rob (47:01) E gone. ⁓ David (47:01) Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Well, explain to me what ego is. Rob (47:05) Yeah, the modern. David (47:07) Does it involve a chariot? Rob (47:09) No, but it involves some Latin. you know, the model of the United States... is E Pluribus Unum, which is from many, one. And the idea is that we are a people of many, that there are millions of us, and we come together to one. And what has become very clear to me the last week is that Donald J. Trump takes that seriously, for many one. I think he misinterprets it slightly in that it is, the many contribute to the one David (47:45) think the Latin that he might be going for is Omnia Pro Uno, which would mean everything for one. Rob (47:53) have been breathtaking this multiple levels, actually, I've been breathtaking that this guy, this guy is fucking guy. This fucking guy. 1.76 billion him. David (48:11) 1.776 billion for two. Come on, come on to come to combat the weaponization of the legal team, teams that that were going against. no, no, no, come on. No, stupid. No, stupid. Come on. Listen, listen. No, if we if we look at it for what it was, OK, we have Donald Trump, sitting US president. Rob (48:13) Yeah, yeah. Him? Bye. Yeah, it's fucking stupid. No, no, it's fucking stupid. fucking stupid David (48:35) He, he sued, hold on, he sued, government that he is currently running for looking at his tax returns $10 billion. Now, settled with, him, Rob (48:35) who ruled in his own favor, himself. was kind. It was kind of him, actually. David (48:50) himself with his own government, he settled with his own government for $1.776 billion, which, you know, it's kind of cute, you know, we were established in 1776. He settled, so instead of suing himself, he settled with himself a lower dollars be given out to Rob (48:54) Yeah, yeah. I get it. It was cute. It was cute. David (49:16) anybody was prosecuted by the government when he wasn't in charge for alleged Rob (49:23) you're printing more parameters on it than actually exists. Anybody who feels like they have been wronged by, yeah. David (49:28) Okay, okay, I'm sorry. wronged. Okay, well, and now if there is something corrupt or bad or negative about anything that I just said, then bend me over and call me Nancy. Because I think that's all pretty innocent. It's all pretty innocent. Rob (49:45) Listen, buddy, you you bend over and get called Nancy on a average weekend. David (49:51) Just behaving like the Congress. Rob (49:51) ⁓ This, this bullshit, this nonsense, this craziness in sitting the complaint the defendant a lawsuit that ended up finding in his favor to give him 1.7 or 1.776 billion dollars. that he can then... distribute to anybody, anybody based on a panel of five people with no like need to tell no oversight, no need to tell anybody where the money goes. David (50:27) Oversight. that he can fire and rehire at whatever point he wants. Rob (50:35) a caveat that he or his family, he or his family, not just him or his family, all the Trumps, all, I'm fuck, I, I, and who, knows? I mean, does it go out to the third cousin, fourth cousin? I mean, you know, is these people that are named like, like Jones, they're not even. David (50:52) Well, sometimes, A, like... Like your, hey, like the Olive Garden when you're here, you're family. Rob (51:01) your family, that they will never investigated by the IRS. It is a level of, go David (51:08) I'm. I'm going to, I'm filing for, I'm going to request some money. I mean, I feel persecuted. I'm going to. Rob (51:14) We should, we should. No, no, no. You know what we need to do? David, we need to do this as a show. We need, have to, actually request for funds. David (51:21) We could, we should. think all of our listeners should request some funds at this point. who wasn't persecuted by Biden? Rob (51:29) No, no, no. Well, I think you and I as a show, mean, would listen to our tens of listeners. If we get any money, it would totally go to charity and or the betterment of this mediocre show that we put on. David (51:39) Any proceeds might go to charity. More bourbon, more bourbon for all. Anyway. Rob (51:50) Well, I mean, we'd probably buy some bottles, but it's stunning. And when you factor this in, you factor this nonsense, $1.776 billion a ballroom that the promise was, I'm paying for this. But oh, wait, no, I need a billion dollars from the taxpayers. Oh, yes. And I also want to do a arch, is, I don't know, $200 million. David (52:21) The Archduke Triumph mean, come on, in all fairness to them, in 1924, the Congress did authorize that something be placed there. And if we can't something, if we can't, I mean, obviously they wanted something there. Rob (52:34) the 1924 Congress. right. What's wrong with us? David (52:40) I mean, it was like two is like two columns. And the thing is, if the Arch de Triomphe loses an I and an H, because who even likes those letters? What does it matter, Robbie? What does it matter? It's irrelevant. Rob (52:46) I'm just saying. Well... David (52:57) What is the psychology of all this, by the way? Because we, at some point, what's the psychology? What is this? What do we, what the fuck is this? Rob (53:02) Well, no, and this also factors into this week in which he made a ridiculous argument that the Democrats should be called the Democrats. David (53:15) Hey, hey, hey, why are we, why do you need to qualify his, why do need to qualify with ridiculous? mean, that is a, that's a legitimate, that is a legitimate opinion. The Democrats. Rob (53:17) And he invested in that. Yeah. Here's my concern. I mean, honestly, I find it all so ridiculous that sometimes I don't even think I need to think it through. It's just so stupid. But what we are seeing is a manifestation of this man's entire life that he is really good. really, really good He's really, really bad at being. He can pretend to be things. He can pretend to be a CEO. He can pretend to be a president. He's really, really bad at being a leader. And he's overwhelmed right now. I guarantee you he's overwhelmed. He, he fucked himself. He doesn't know what to do with Iran. And we can see this. We can see it because he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He walks away from it. He's not engaged in it. Like a legit leader. Like we go to war. That legit leader stays nose to the goddamn grindstone right to the end. David (54:19) D'oh. Rob (54:38) is why we're going to war. This is our plan. We're going to stick with it. We're going to get through it. No, not what we see with him. David (54:45) noticed of the time, if not every time, there's something with wants to project eventually is winning. There's never a goal, right? Yeah, but there's never like a defined goal winning. Rob (54:56) That's all that matters. Projection of winning. David (55:05) I achieved X, Y or Z. Yeah, it's more like if we were to watch the Super Bowl, the outcome wasn't determined by the score, like the final score. It was determined by made the best effort. It was just something else. Rob (55:06) It's a feeling. It's a feeling. If the teams didn't have to actually play the game and actually be committed to the results of said game, this is what we have. David (55:26) Yeah. there was no, but there was there was no defined result. It was just sort of like, we're gonna have a Super Bowl, we've had it, and I win. think that's sort of where we're looking at. Okay, so we've talked this one to death. You got a prescription for these fine, lovely tens of people who might only be 10 people now that we've disappeared for a week? Rob (55:51) Well, I'm... Pretty confident, you're absolutely right. We're probably down to 10. From 10s to because it's the nature of our show. David, I don't have a prescription. You it's a rare thing actually. This period of time for me has left me feeling ridiculously irritated, angry, hopeless. And I can't give a prescription because the prescription says, we've got something we can do. I'm just feeling really hopeless. I feel like, all right, we just got to watch this shit play out. David (56:29) maybe that's good prescription. Like, realize watching a rat run through your living room is understanding that, okay, I have rats. I got rats now. I need to call an exterminator. Like somebody has to figure out how the rat got in and then get rid of that hole. you can't always look at. Rob (56:37) So you gotta get to the end. Look at that rat! Holy shit, I got a rat! David (56:52) Look at that rat. Yeah, there's a rat there. I should probably do something about that rat. But you didn't know that you had a hole in the side of your house until you saw the rat. So that's nice. Rob (57:01) Well, when you say whole, it makes me, reminds me of my OnlyFans size. So everybody, want you to visit my OnlyFans in honor of. holes. Good one. It's a good one. Come to my OnlyFans. I don't have one. painful part here is that I can send you all there. There is not one. But I am not averse to mustache rides, but I have to grow mustache. David (57:33) I think we've talked this to death. Thank you to all 10 of our listeners now. I dropped the S because that's probably where we're at. But thank you so much. Share us. ⁓ Please get us out there. Rob (57:38) Yeah I, if we're in the teens, if we're in the teens at this point, stunned. David (57:46) Yeah, we're. All right, well, let's cue up that music and we are. Email. Rob (57:52) Email us, let us know, because otherwise we're really feeling alone in this. David (57:58) We are. All right, well, let's cue up that music and we are out. But as we head out tonight, one final thanks to our sponsor, Ravi's Only Fans. Ravi wants everyone to know that next month's content theme is apparently called Stars, Stripes and Daddy Issues. New premium series include soft dominance and supply side economics. Emotionally available, but constitutionally armed. and an eight part behind the scenes documentary titled, How Many Buttons Can A Flannel Leave Undone Before It Becomes A Crime? And remember folks, according to the Robbie handed me, all proceeds go towards bourbon, beard, oil, and what he describes as tactical emotional support infrastructure. Robbie's OnlyFans, where mustache brides aren't extra, they're expected. Rob (58:24) You're such a dick! You're fucking dick! You're a dick!